(no subject)

[anniesgonemad]

Oh.

I'm back. Was fading, hiding in your head, but I'm back.

I'm sorry.

Sorry you have to see me again. Know it's better without me, always is. [She giggles.]

Maybe... maybe this time, there will be more.

Sorry. Shouldn't- should just stop talking.

Do I still have Little Fish? Or is he gone now, too, and I'm back to the beginning? All alone again?

Maybe... Maybe it depends. Know I'm different. Mad. Crazy. Waste of a victor. Waste of a muse.

Sorry.

Comments

[sugarcubing]

Annie, anyone that tells you are a waste is lying.

[anniesgonemad]

Finnick!

[She shakes her head.]

Then everyone is lying. Heard people say it- you remember. After my Games.

[sugarcubing]

Well you aren't worthless to me, Annie.

[anniesgonemad]

Just you. No one else.

You mean a lot to me, too. [He knows that. But she'll always say it.]

[sugarcubing]

No one else is smart enough to see how amazing you are.

[anniesgonemad]

Or maybe they're all smarter.

[Unfortunately, it seems like the more logical answer to her.]

[sugarcubing]

Are you calling me stupid?

[There's a smile however.]

[anniesgonemad]

No! Never! [She gasps, her eyes lighting up slightly.]

[sugarcubing]

[He chuckled and took her hand drawing her close.] You will always mean everything to me.

[anniesgonemad]

Always? [She looks up at him. Sometimes the ghosts in her head manage to convince her it's a lie, that he's just saying things to her like he does to his lovers in the Capitol.]

[sugarcubing]

Always, Annie.

[anniesgonemad]

Love you, Finnick.

[sugarcubing]

Love you too, Annie. [Smiles and brushes his lips over hers.]

[anniesgonemad]

[She smiles into the kiss, before returning it.]

[realornotreal]

[He'd watched her Games, when he was researching their competitors. The details are all mixed up with everything else in his head, but he remembers wondering how he would've reacted if he'd had to watch... someone... die like that. Wondering what it would be like, if he lost his mind.

He sees her again when they met in the cafeteria, how protectively Finnick held her hand. Peeta had been angry at him. He forgets why now, when it's just the two of them here.]

You're not a waste, so long as someone needs you.

[anniesgonemad]

[She remembered that. Peeta, lashing out, trying to threaten Finnick by using her. She remembered they had been close. Speaking through walls in their cells while they'd been held that long while in the Capitol. Annie had been there when they'd dragged Peeta in. They'd had her since the reaping.]

That's... No, that's wrong, Peeta.

Am a waste. Waste of a Victor. They all said it. Can't celebrate someone who went mad. Who tells the truth when they try to hide it all. Who says how bad it is, how they hate it. They don't want to hear it.

[realornotreal]

Then you and I are in the same boat.

[The flicker of something crosses his expression, almost like a smile. He's not so far gone that he can't tell people hate talking to him now. See him as dangerous. Unpredictable. A long time ago, it used to matter so much that he always said the right thing, always tried to see where the other person was coming from.

Maybe the problem is that he sees too well. He's disposable to all of them. Any favour they ever extended him has only been because of her. But he can't extend that resentment to Annie, who has never done anything to him. Whose mind is broken, just like his.]

Although... I don't think I frosted that giant cake for nothing. Plutarch said it was the biggest party District 13's ever seen. Who were they celebrating, if not you?

[knotsnarrows]

Mom? Mom, it's not better without you. It never is. [He'll just cling to her for now.]

[anniesgonemad]

Were celebrating a celebration, [She admits bitterly, rubbing at her hands.] For the propos. It was... a lovely, beautiful cake. Lovely wedding. [Something she never thought she would get. Though she could imagine the backlash in some of the Districts, in the Capitol... All of Finnick's lovers...]

Don't think 13 sees many parties.

hey you

[anniesgonemad]

[She absently reaches down, stroking his hair.]

You don't know anything else.

Hey to you, too!

[knotsnarrows]

[He shakes his head.] What's that supposed to mean?

[anniesgonemad]

Means you don't know what it's like without me.
Don't know if it's better or not, Little Fish.

[knotsnarrows]

You're my mom. That's enough for me to know.

[anniesgonemad]

You are your father's son. Far too kind to me.

[knotsnarrows]

Really? [That brings a big smile. He wants to be just like Dad.]

No, I'm not. [See that look? Pure stubbornness.] No one can me.

[anniesgonemad]

Really.

[She was so proud of him. And she knew Finnick was, too.]

Yes they can, Little Fish.

[knotsnarrows]

No, they can't, Mom. Not unless they're faking it.

[anniesgonemad]

Many do.

[knotsnarrows]

I know. They shouldn't. [Is that a glare?] They shouldn't have to pretend.

[anniesgonemad]

Cerni. [She frowns at him. No glaring, kid.]

They have to because of who I am.

[knotsnarrows]

No, they don't. They could be nice for real.

[andproper]

[Hello.

Someone's taking your hand.

Someone thinks you should come to The Games, and keep her company, maybe...]