oot and aboot

[wisper]

Ah, hey, if you want to get that script done, maybe you should stop worrying about the ending. Then, when it comes to you, you'll actually be prepared to draw. I'm not sure what you're aiming for is even a written problem, anyway, is it? It's a visual thing.

In... other news, I'd, ah, really appreciate it if you'd stop encouraging Wedgeley to think of me as a deceitful, sneaky book thief. Look, I know my business is occasionally less than... squeaky clean, and my methods can be creative, but I thought we were friends. He can be... you know. Grating. But I like him, and we help each other out, right? I haven't even done anything to him. And I wouldn't, because I know he can smell counterfeits. Come on.

Just some food for thought for tonight.

Findlay

Comments

[wedgie]

You haven't done anything yet. [Wait a second...] Unless you include the dancing.

[Wedgie remembers. Wedgie is not happy.]

Just counting the thievery, no, it's not you I'm worried about. It's the smaller, louder, human one that has me truly concerned. You're just some kind of... mild annoyance that I can tolerate conversing with on a daily basis.

[wisper]

... Thanks. [ You're a real bro. ] The dancing doesn't count, because all I gained from that was a headache, and it wasn't my idea. Technically.

[wedgie]

You facilitated the dancing! Dancing happened. There was touching and movement and clasped hands-- [Oh no, he's going to pass out from the memory alone!] It was not a pleasant experience and it was entirely your fault.

[wisper]

The fact that you're still freaking out over this, two months later, legitimately concerns me. Why don't we talk about what's happening in your life, lately?

[wedgie]

[Cue the blatantly offended and completely indignant huffs and screechy sounds! He has no response to the fact that he is still freaking out over this.]

In my life? Well this will be a short conversation. Nothing! Nothing is happening. This isn't a life, it's a prison sentence! Crumbs that fall from a cookie at some outdoor cafe have a more exciting life than I do currently. What about your life? What interesting thing have you gotten up to? Wait, I can answer that for you. ALSO NOTHING!

[wisper]

[ Just staying... far enough away. From small meltdown. ]

Not necessarily true? I've gotten some good work done. Outside the shop. [ Wispin' people to their deaths, ja genau. ] Sorry if I hit a nerve. -- Oh, hey, wait, does being hung upside-down from a bedpost count? Or is that the problem?

[wedgie]

[Yeah, sure, just rub it in that you get this whole story thing and all Wedgie gets is--] ... No, that most certainly does not count. And since it doesn't count, it couldn't possibly be the problem! I am not a small, plush toy in some human's bedroom! That is a highly offensive and inaccurate representation of my species!

[wisper]

[ Sigh, yes, taunting is always so much easier than trying to talk reasonably. ] Are you sure? Have you seen the teeth on that thing?

[wedgie]

Are you asking to see mine for comparison?

[wisper]

... I literally asked if you'd seen the teeth on it.

[wedgie]

No, no, I heard the question. But if you, for one second, think that those hideous, felt protrusions look anything like the calcified razors in my mouth, I really think you need a refresher in the form of a visual.

[shhckPop! Wow, check out those shark teeth. Wedgie is offended as HELL, and anger is one of his sure fire triggers for those chompers.]

[wisper]

Ah, you don't -- alright. No, they look fairly similar to me. [ Wedgie u need 2 stop ]

[wedgie]

Well they're not similar! They are, in fact, extraordinarily different! I do not resemble a child's plush toy!

[wisper]

But look, your eyes are even doing that thing.

[wedgie]

[What thing? This thing? This eye-bulging, twitching thing while he turns red because he refuses to breathe because he's too angry and that one vein in his forehead is kinda popping out a little and the sound that comes out of him starts as a low hiss but develops into a high-pitched squeal, not unlike a tea kettle? THIS thing? ... He's doing the thing.

And he's ripping that toy out of the internet. And he's eating it.

He literally just shredded that thing with his teeth and swallowed it. Goodbye, tiny Wedgie. Goodbye!]

[wisper]

[ ... Pressing his lips together and trying really, really hard not to lose it. Shoulders shaking. Eyes closing. Long snort escaping.

No, he needs to turn around, he needs a minute. FINN DOESN'T ALWAYS LAUGH, BUT WHEN HE DOES, IT'S BECAUSE OF THIS MOTHERFUCKER ]

[wedgie]

[FINE! GO AHEAD AND LAUGH! Wedgie is being completely serious and-- ... hacking up some fluff. Awh, it's like a little angry hairball! Okay, he's done choking and is now just frowning.]

Are you quite finished? [It's really hard to look distinguished after ingesting a small toy.]

[wisper]

[ gajskdalfsdfaskdjf okay, okay, done. The hairball really does it, but now he's done. ] Finished. I'm done.

[gildylocks]

Oh... you wouldn't steal my copy of Advanced Potion Making, would you?

[ Gasp! ]

[wisper]

... I don't actually steal books. I sell them. [ After occasionally stealing them. Occasionally. ]

[gildylocks]

[ Gilderoy looks awfully relieved and his usual big smile is quick to return. ]

So you're not a thief at all? It's VERY bad to steal, you know.

Unless you're stealing something you want an awful lot, like candy. [ Logic! ]

[wisper]

Are you sure? That's still stealing, after all.

[gildylocks]

...oh. W-well. Ehm.

I never... actually stole candy. Honestly. [ H-help. ]