dear_mun | Mun is eyeing towerofanimus

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Mun is eyeing towerofanimus

You expect me to go kicking and screaming, Mun? I will not.

You've thought about this off and on for a few months now. I've had ample time to prepare myself for what lies ahead. This doesn't come as even a small surprise.

I've been thinking, too. About who I am now, and who I want to be, and the things I want to do. I know that my experience there won't be pleasant, but the things that matter most rarely are. I could really accomplish something there. There are people who need me! My people. By being there, I could help them.

And... he's there, as well.

[A bit of a bashful smile.]

I'd like to... see him again. To see how he's grown.

I'm prepared to face whatever it is you're going to throw at me. I've made my peace with this. Please... follow through.

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...It's not as easy as you seem to think it is.

[Have an awkward. He's not sure how to feel.]

Perhaps not.

But then, I am not the child I once was, either.

[That makes two of them. As excited as Natalia was about the prospect of seeing Asch again, coming face-to-face with him leaves her feeling awkward.]

[There's a pause... Then he sighs, and shakes his head.]

It has nothing to do with that. If it were that simple, then we'd probably be out of here by now.

I know it won't be simple... I've learned to look at the world around me and see it for what it is. I know what's waiting for me there.

I'm strong enough for this.

[If what her mun has been reading is true, every Kimlascan who isn't in the tower is in danger. She can't, won't, stand for that.]

Watching from the outside is different from experiencing it.

[He can talk about it out here, removed from it - in there, it's a completely different matter.]

That's true. I can't claim to understand everything you've been through there... or even everything you've been through on Auldrant... but I would like to try to.

[It's taken her some time but she's started to make some progress on separating "Luke" and "Asch" the way she should. Maybe with a little more time and a little more experience, she and Asch can have a friendship that isn't dependent on a past he would rather forget.]

...It's not that easy to talk about, either.

[That's the closest he'll come from that military, almost clinical detachment. Life is hard when everything is an arrow pointed at your traumas.]

I thought you might say that.

[Natalia would be lying if she claimed not to be disappointed. In her heart, though, she knows: Asch isn't the little boy who made that promise to her so many years ago. She isn't the same little girl from those days, either.

It's unfair to expect everything to be the same between them as it once was.]

[He'd tell her it's not all terrible, tell her that he actually has people of his own to rely on, now - but in the times when it's worst, that doesn't mean anything. When it's the worst, you're alone.]

...Just stand on your own feet, and make your own choices. As much as anyone can, there.

That's exactly what I intend to do.

[Her lips curve into a smile. There is something encouraging about hearing Asch give her advice. Standing on her own two feet and choosing for herself is something that Natalia has been working on since she left Baticul. Hearing him say she should keep doing that makes her feel like her choices have been the right ones.]

And you'll do the same, won't you?

I'd hope that I have been.

[Because otherwise, well, the life he's chosen to live would be kind of pointless.]

That's all I can ask.

[They may not be the same as they were so many years ago, but the years haven't changed Natalia's desire to see him as happy as he can be. It sounds like he's on his way to doing that, even though the environment he's in is awful.]

It sounds like you've really made up your mind about this.

[He doesn't sound particularly... happy, per say, but he keeps the urge to correct her swallowed down - when Natalia made a decision, even the best of intentions were not guaranteed to change her mind. It's not exactly a comfort to know the princess might be going to such an awful place. But as long as she was careful... she definitely had the perseverance and attitude to make a good situation out of it.

Pardon him shooting her a glance of concern, though.]

Just as long as you're asking for the right reasons... be careful.

I have.

[There is no hint of mischief in her expression. There is only a sense of calm and an underlying determination. What is going on in the tower is abhorrent to her in every sense of the word. Knowing that people she cares about are there without her makes it that much worse.

It was a princess's duty to do what was right for her people, even at personal risk. And royal blood or no, she was a princess.]

And I will. Thank you for your concern, Guy. [It's now that her determined expression falters, but only a little.] Is it really as bad as they say?

[Whatever smile he had managed slips away for something more somber. The blond shifts his posture, arms crossing tightly in front of him.]

...Yeah, more than likely. I'm not sure what you've heard, but it wasn't exactly... pretty when I was there. If the situation has gotten any worse-- [He hesitates, mouth thinning into a frown.] --well, I can only imagine what they're going through.

It sounds as though they are going through unbearable trials. [She closes her eyes briefly to collect her thoughts.] I only hope that I arrive soon enough to help them.

[She brings both hands up to her chest, one folded over the others.] Undoubtedly, they will have changed. I'm excited to see how they've grown, but at the same time... I am a little afraid.

[It's not the danger she may be in that frightens her. If her friends have really grown as much as she thinks they have, will they need her anymore?]

You're worried those changes might lead to something else?

[It doesn't surprise him. Natalia had always preferred the comforts of what were. Branching out from that could be hurtful, but in the grand scheme of things, Guy knew first-hand that is was absolutely necessary.]

You can't exactly take back anything that might have happened. Whoever is there has had to find ways to deal with a lot of problems in whatever way they can. Sometimes with others... sometimes by themselves. That tends to warp people.

At the very least, you can watch over them. You can let them know someone's there. But you can't take their pain away from them.

Yes. [It isn't easy to admit it, but Natalia finds it within herself to do so regardless. Her station called for her to do things that weren't easy from time to time, and she owed it to her friends to give it her best shot at understanding them even when it was hard.] If they've all changed so much, and I've changed so little...

[She lets the thought hang there and listens carefully to Guy speak. When he finishes, she nods thoughtfully.]

I'll do what I can to ease their, but there's no magical quick fix to the things that may be bothering them. That takes time... and true healing will come from within them.

I can't wait to see all of them again. You, too, if we get the chance to. I've missed all of you very much.

It's a wise thing to remember.

[He chuckles dryly at the mention of himself. If only she knew how conflicted he felt over returning to such a place. He knew Luke, Asch, and Ion were still there, and he didn't want them to be left alone. But what he himself had experienced was something he didn't wish to ever repeat, and returning to the Tower would only guarantee putting his life on the line once again.

Just the thought of how many times he had died there makes him feel... sick. But he pushes it aside, a soft smile broadening across his face.]

Everyone's missed you, too. I can't say it's much of a spot for a good reunion. But I hope you'll be welcomed with open arms.

It's a terrible spot for a reunion. Even I can see that much.

[The awfulness of it all only made her more determined to make a difference, however. She had promised so long ago that she would create a world where people didn't suffer and where war didn't happen. It's an idealistic dream, she knows, and such an undertaking would be massive in a place like the tower.

If she could do something to help them all, though... if her being there made things even a little easier for just one person... wasn't it worth it? Natalia thinks so. It's how she's come to grips with the prospect of being trapped on a world that isn't her own.]

But it's not the place that makes somewhere home... it's the people. The people I care about most are there already, or they have been in the past and may be in the future. [That means you, Guy.] Even if they don't see me the same way, knowing I'll be able to do something to protect them is enough for me.

Edited (You didn't see anything...) 2013-07-17 20:52 (UTC)

I have heard several things about where it is you are going... Is it really all right to be at peace?

[Whatever her decision will be, she can't help worry.]

It may not be. But I would rather face this with my head held high than let them see me afraid.

I suppose that's true, and some of the others are there... So I'm sure you'll be in good hands.

[She wouldn't be Natalia if she didn't do that. If anyone could endure the events of the Tower with her head high, surely it was her.]

But do be careful, please. I am not there myself, but it seemed many of these destinations we are sent to are dangerous.

Yes. My mun has been looking around for a few months now, and I've seen through her eyes how terrible many of the "games" they play can be.

I feel as though perhaps I've gotten off easy. One of the others places she was looking into was an incredibly crass city. The nerve of her!

Crass? However do you mean? [Is she going to regret asking that...]

It is a city where one is required to perform lewd acts. I told her I would have nothing of it and that she should put the idea out of her mind immediately... and so she began looking at horror games.

T-that's...! [Unfair? That wasn't quite the word for it. Lewd? Definitely.]

How could that even be considered? Placing you in such situations! [Princess or not, Tear doesn't like the idea one bit.]

My mun saw the error of her ways soon enough.

What about you, Tear? Does yours have you anywhere, or have any plans to send you somewhere?

I have been in one location for several years now, actually. [Hesitantly, almost shyly she removes the light sweater she was wearing, revealing a small pair of red-violet wings that flap ever so slightly now that they are in the open.] These are wings every person is granted upon arrival at the place where I am, for their survival.

I know my mun has thought about sending me to another place, but just this one is enough, I believe.

[Natalia looks at the wings with an expression of muted shock before smiling kindly.] They're beautiful wings, Tear. They suit you.

[She doesn't know what the wings have to do with surviving, but if they're a necessity, she wants Tear to keep them for as long as she can.]

I suppose it depends on how busy you are and how busy your mun is. I'd like to get to see more of you, if we have the chance.

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Mun is eyeing towerofanimus

...sup

...well hello

hiya

hi! how are you?

p good.

good, good.

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screams a little

screams back

I've been considering coming back next month so aaaaaaaaaa

wonderful timing, in that case!

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