dear_mun | Reserved at one game and voice testing!

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canon: evangelion

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I think you're making a mistake and should have gone with that pokemon trainer. Everyone likes him. He doesn't hurt the people he cares about. He certainly doesn't kill the people he cares about. Everyone would want to meet him.

Eh? You have other plans for him?

....A place where you need to be touched? To touch and be touched by other people. [ Shinji makes a face when he thinks of that concept. At least he isn't going there, that's all that matters. That's a slight relief. Slight.]

Um. On second thought. I guess the place you have in mind for me isn't as bad.

....Why? Why don't you just leave me alone?

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Now whats wrong with being touched, Puppy? There's nothing wrong with cuddling with someone every once in awhile.

C-cuddle?! With just anyone, though? [says the ~~(hypocrite to an extent)~~ boy who already shared an awkward kiss before.]

It's not like you have to go around cuddling people for no reason. Find someone you like and things should be finnnnnne.

[He can't help but make another uncomfortable look at that response. 'That sure would be an easy task...' he knows better to think to himself than say outloud.]

...I take it you won't be there alone?

Well I mean from the looks of it we've got Asuka, that kid with the silver hair, and the mopy girl who never smiles.

[Well, if you were trying to hit his pings, those sure were some of them. Pardon him while he soaks all that in, Mari.]

A-Asuka?! So she'll be there and is just fine... [He is not sure to be glad or not; I mean, no one's gonna be home, it seems, and what about the Evas-Wait... Hold on here.

He stares a tad intently.]

How do you know her? Who are you?

Well first off, my name's Mari and it's good to meet ya!

As for your other question...me and Asuka have been partners for a awhile now. I watch her back on the battlefield and in exchange she yells at me for just about everything you could imagine.

Edited 2013-05-30 05:51 (UTC)

Ah... That is Asuka on a normal day, all right. [But Shinji wouldn't have her any other way, though.]

Luckily for you, a lot of the yelling is mostly towards me, though...

There's no reason why people wouldn't want to meet you, Shinji.

[At least he looked up from his brooding when he hears you, Kaworu. If there was a sight for sore eyes, you are one of them. Though his glance is still heavy.]

Why are you so sure about that?

Because you're special. I know you won't believe me, but you're the kind of person who always draws others in.

[He gives him one of those signature smiles.]

[He can't help but let out a sigh, but you are getting the slightest of smiles out of him. Progress!]

I think that sounds more like you, Kaworu. You're the one who's amazing... And knows a lot of things...

[A little progress is still something.]

Ah, it's definitely you. I only know things by taking the time to learn them. Anyone can do it, it doesn't make me amazing.

You have that much faith in anyone, it seems. You make it seem possible to believe that much in people. ...Anyone can do that? ['...I guess we just don't want to. To keep from getting hurt.' he thinks to himself when his smile begins to fade when he thinks some more.

At least it progressed to Shinji somewhat closing the distance between the two of them.]

Well being negative only stunts possibilities. Yes, anyone. Sometimes it just takes practice and patience... And someone to believe in you.

[Kaworu notices his expression falter, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder and just flash another reassuring smile.] I believe in you, Shinji.

['Practice and time...Like playing a cello or piano.' he mused to himself.

Had Kaworu not been gentle with the hand on Shinji's shoulder, the brunette would have jumped at the touch, not being one who was used to physical contact. It... wasn't so bad. It was welcoming.]

And you will probably be the first and last who will. [He smiles again, but it had a hint of melancholy to it. Sorry, Kaworu. When it comes to self-esteem, Shinji was still going to need some work. But he's getting there; at least he's taking compliments, sort of.]

[Kaworu knows to be slow and careful with Shinji. He has enough pressure and stress and he doesn't want to be the one to add to it.]

I don't think I'm the first and I hope I'm not the last. [Well if there's something Kaworu is the pinnacle of it is patience, especially when it comes to this sort of thing. He knows someone's nature doesn't change overnight so he doesn't expect that... But they can work on it together.]

[~~Because his heart is fragile like glass, am i right?~~ And he appreciates that, Kaworu. Though it just amplifies Shinji's guilt knowing that all he's been trying to was brush off Kaworu's kindness like this. He sighs again before laying his hand atop the hand on his shoulder.

It's... not so bad being reminded that he's not alone.]

...And I'm glad it's you.

[~~Heh, bingo.~~ He would just start into another encouraging speech for him if he knew Shinji felt more guilty, since that is definitely the opposite of what he intends. He smiles at the hand resting over his, leaving his own there since he knows that contact can be a good support system for Lilin.]

I would only do all of this for you.

[ Shinji lets his fingers tentatively brush over Kaworu's hand and fingers, almost like he was experimenting and curious.

It was warm... Soft... Was touching really not as bad as Shinji made it out to be? ]

There's probably others out there who deserve this more than someone like me, but... Thank you.

[Kaworu doesn't seem to mind the tentative curiosity, glancing towards Shinji's hand to watch for a moment as if taking in the moment before chuckling quietly. He gives a shake of his head.]

I know that no one else is more deserving.

[ Needless to say, that left Shinji's cheeks flushing a slight pink and sputtering for a response. In order to try to occupy his bashfulness, he begins to take Kaworu's hand from his shoulder and into both of his own hands, the grip gentle enough for the half-angel to pull his hand back if he wished. ]

Um... Doesn't it embarrass you being this honest? [then again, honesty was what Shinji probably wanted as much as he was secretly starved for bonds.]

[The taller boy doesn't seem to have any intention of drawing back under the current circumstances, just letting their hands remain there together. H even gives Shinji's hands a gentle squeeze as if an extra boost of support. At the question though he gives another gentle shake his head, the gesture decisive.]

Being honest is freeing.

Freeing?

... [ A small pause as he gave that some thought.]

Is that what it takes to be happy?

I don't believe that's necessarily all it takes, no... Happiness is a very vague and personal ideal, that can vary greatly depending on who's searching for it.

Not only are we searching for who we are and why we're here... but also what make us happy?

[ he couldn't help but frown the slightest.]

Living is so troublesome, sometimes.

Edited (i had to say it.) 2013-06-02 19:31 (UTC)

Couldn't the pursuit of happiness be why we're here?

And I don't think living would be very interesting if it were easy. It might be nice for a while, but... What would be the point?

If it is, then... I don't know what I should be pursuing to be happy. I'm not hopeful that I'll ever know.

I just simply lived, and that was fine and comfortable, for me. Is that pointless, too?

Maybe starting small... Find simple joys, and those will lead you to larger things.

And if it made you comfortable then I don't think it was pointless.

[ He sits on that answer for a bit, but not without giving Kaworu's hand a squeeze.

Well, if it's a start, this was one simple and minute thing that felt good to him; Kaworu's encouraging touch.]

Do you know what you want, Kaworu? ...Are you still looking?

Edited 2013-06-02 20:20 (UTC)

[The taller boy waits patiently as Shinji thinks, returning the gentle squeeze. But at the question he actually seems slightly surprised, blinking before an almost melancholy smile crosses his face.]

... I know. I've known for a long time now, although it is not something easily attainable. But I'll keep working.

I think you will get it. If I deserve mine, then... um... then Kaworu deserves his own happiness, too!

[If only Shinji knew the real truth, right, Kaworu? He has no idea...]

I'll try... I'll be trying, too.

[That rather sad look stays, but he does seem appreciative at the words.]

Thank you, Shinji.

[It would be nice if he knew, but he doesn't. And frankly Kaworu isn't sure that the whole truth is something he can really reveal to him, even at this point. There are too many variables, especially given his present continuity.]

[When Shinji takes notice of the expression the half angel had, he could not help but now look concerned.]

Ah- I- um...

I say weird things, a lot, don't I? I'm sorry, Kaworu...

[He seems to realize what sort of face he must have been making and smiles apologetically, shaking his head.]

There's no need to apologize, you didn't say anything wrong. I'm sorry if I gave off that impression.

[That did not lessen Shinji's frowning, as reassuring as that was. So Shinji raised a hand and let it sit on Kaworu's shoulder, trying to mirror exactly what Kaworu did to Shinji awhile ago. But the touch was hesitant when Shinji did it; Not because he was afraid or dreading it, but simply because he wasn't used to doing this. ]

You're really sure...?

[While a part of Kaworu is surprised at Shinji taking the initiative in regards to contact, another part of him is almost amused. The idea of Lilin seeking to comfort him is almost funny... But at the same time it's Shinji, so he knows that the action is genuine and likely rare; he would never scoff at it. So he nods.]

I'm sure. Thank you.

♫...You can manage a snake, though its poison might kill
It's amazing how humping a camel will thrill
You can go with a snail if you slow to a crawl
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all♫

EVERYBODY sing!

What, is that really your problem? Cause, like, everybody in this post would probably be happy to handle it for you if you just presented for 'em.

...Except for ME, I mean. No homo!

...>_>

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guess I forgot to mention. This is anime!puppy-boy. ahaha. my bad. >w>;;

No probs~

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It ain't Evangelion if there's no sorta-philosophy talks, am I right? B']

Yup! Philosophy and crying. That's it. That's the show.

Don't worry, the crying is mostly on Shinji's end. /kicked.

It's really true, poor thing. It's okay though, your Angel is here~

"Were you here all this time, Kaworu?" ;w;

asdfgb whyyyy ;___;

Because their relationship is pain and Anno is a meanie head.

Both of those are 1000% true.

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Because SOMEONE had to comment on the username...

I'M CRYING OH MY GOD

You are WELCOME :D