let's see if this can work

[stupidwatson]

HOLMES GONE!

The only clue was the note on the pot of jam, but I ate it and the letter too. It was an accident but now I don't know where he is. Then I fell over and broke the jar so now I have nothing to help find him with.

Where Holmes?!

Comments

[hisdearwatson]

[what on earth is this abomination.]

[stupidwatson]

[chews on his own hand]

omg stupid watson <3

[sherly_no_mates]

Ah, there you are, Watson. [What? Is something different here?]

Re: omg stupid watson <3

[stupidwatson]

HOLMES! Holmes here!

[nyanpire]

...I heard something about jam, nyaa. I will help!

What kind of jam was it?

[stupidwatson]

Tasty jam! My hand is too big for the jar though so it gets stuck with the tasty jam.

[nyanpire]

Tasty?! Nyaa, it was strawberry?! Or raspberry?!

Red jam is the TASTIEST jam!

[stupidwatson]

I like strawberry jam! It's the tastiest jam. Sometimes bits are left on my moustache too and I have some for later.

[nyanpire]

In your meowstache?!

[Bam. The kitten is now on Watson's shoulder, leaning in uncomfortably close and sniffing at his face for traces of JAM.]

[stillhastrustissues]

-- how was a jar going to help you find him?

[stupidwatson]

The clue was in the jar! Also eating jam makes me happy and makes me think. I say.

[chattersphere]

The way I see it, you've got several options here. A, you could go looking for this Holmes fellow, B, you could sit here and wait for Holmes to find you, or C, give up, lie down, and wait to die.

It's up to you, really.

There might be some other options I didn't list, but those are the best ones.

[stupidwatson]

By jove!

I want to find Holmes but clues are difficult when I don't have him. Clues are everywhere but I don't know which of the clues are right!

[He pauses for a minute.

Then chews his hand.]

[chattersphere]

Wait, do you mean the Holmes?

If so, you're in luck! I'm rather Holmes...ian myself! Not to brag or anything, but I can figure out those clues for you in a jiffy!

We'll find Holmes yet!

[stupidwatson]

Okay! He'll probably have a funny hat on. I'm not allowed to wear it. It doesn't fit my head anyway.

I'm hungry.

[chattersphere]

Okay, funny hat, shouldn't be too hard to find, not hard to find at all.

Oh, hmmm...maybe...maybe we should find you something to eat, first. Humans aren't at their best when they're hungry. Rather inconvenient, really. But what can you do?

oh my gooood

[alldeduction]

[What is this.]

... Who are you looking for, exactly?

Re: oh my gooood

[stupidwatson]

[staaare.]

Holmes! Holmes gone...

[alldeduction]

Detail beyond a surname will be necessary if you expect results.

Grammar may also be useful.

[stupidwatson]

Where Holmes gone?

[Chews on hand.

Doesn't really know what to say.]

[alldeduction]

[................]

I'll make it simpler.

Give me your name, and then his.

[stupidwatson]

I'm John Watson and he is Sherlock Holmes! We are friends, old boy!

[alldeduction]

.... You are not John Watson.

[stupidwatson]

[he nods his head vigorously]

I am John Watson, old chap!

[bulletcarnage]

Tried the classic fiction section? He might be hiding there.

[stupidwatson]

[he just looks confused and worried.]

[crackedcase]

[Holmes walks in. He stares.]

[Then he slowly edges right back out the door.]