mid-season 4, mun has suspicions about Busty Asian Beauties

[like_the_rifle]

Hell sucked. Thanks for that one, by the way, I can tell we're gonna be great pals already. And quit psychoanalyzing my taste in porn, you total nutjob. 

Is it too late for me to get out of here, or am I stuck with your ass?

Comments

[cyfarwyd]

Look on the bright side, lad, eh? Still a good bit better than Hell, I should think. And between me and God, it always seemed to me that total nutjobs' heads were the most fun to be stuck in.

[shinra_dog]

Best get used ta' Muns gettin' all up in yer business. Hell, mine is becoming a psychoanalyst, so I've totally given up all hope on that front, yo.

Th' porn, though -- I say, if ya really wanna get a reaction, share it. Either you'll finally scare 'em off, or you'll get 'em hooked too, an' then they can't judge. *smirk*

[crownless]

[NARROWS EYES AT TITLE]

Dude, there is nothing wrong with Busty Asian Beauties. If your mun's got a problem with that they can go to-- well. Hell, I guess.

[like_the_rifle]

Nah, hasn't got a problem with that. Apparently, the issue is that despite my taste in porn I have yet to hook up with any Asians. [At least onscreen so far.]

So she's goin' on about how it must not be the Asian thing that gets me off, started spewing crap about power dynamics. Really, I keep telling her it's not all that complicated.

Platinum membership's a good deal, by the way.

[like_the_rifle]

Great, so's mine. Research, though. Think this is where all the mini-psychologists go when they're not allowed near actual people?

Oh, I'll show her all she wants, I just don't wanna hear what she has to say about it.

[like_the_rifle]

That's debatable. [No, it's really not, but he likes to complain.]

Anyway, there's nutjob and then there's analyzing my porn nutjob. Feeling a little violated here.

[cyfarwyd]

Welcome to the club. 'Fraid it's something you'll be having to get used to.

[lovemesomepie]

If you thought you were outta Hell...

Well, take it from me. This is it.

Just a different kind'a torture.

[like_the_rifle]

So does future me carry a box of tissues and cry his heart out to Celine Dion, then? Or does he man the hell up and get done what needs to get done?

[hi other dean, you've reached this dean's self-hate issues, please leave a message after the beep]

[like_the_rifle]

Yeah, so I hear.

[crownless]

Pfffh. Seriously? Why can't it just be about getting off to Asian girls with huge tits? Chicks try to find meaning in everything, swear to God.

[yeah right travis i could go on and on about you and power dynamics.]

Heh. Way ahead of you there.

[lovemesomepie]

Shut the hell up. I found Alastair and I showed him just what I learned.

[They're still very much present in this Dean. But he only takes shit from himself. And that means his own head, not another Dean's.]

When'd she take you from, huh? Fresh outta school?

[like_the_rifle]

Good to know you didn't screw that one up.

[Does he want to turn everything he learned from Alistair back on him? Some part of him says no, he never wants to torture again, but something larger, bloodthirsty and vengeful boiling under the surface says yes. He ignores both.]

Fresh outta hell, if you were paying attention, space cadet.

[like_the_rifle]

Beats me. Gotta guess they're just wired differently.

[lovemesomepie]

Alastair's Torture Academy, valedictorian. [The words are accompanied by a sneer. He knows you know what he meant.]

[like_the_rifle]

What can I say? I don't like to be second best.

[He squares his shoulders, looks his other self dead in the eye challengingly.]

[lovemesomepie]

What a coincidence. Neither do I.

[This Dean's a little older, a little wearier, but the look is identical, hard and stubborn. You can't fight yourself, Dean, a little voice in his head says, but he's done it before and he'll do it again. Only difference this time is the lack of African Dream Root.]

Too bad you'll never be good enough.

[like_the_rifle]

Imagine that.

[A long pause, and he breaks into a shit-eating grin.]

And neither will you. Looks like we're up the same creek, don't it? Trying too hard and letting everybody down, but getting right the fuck up again because we don't know when to quit.

It's downright pathological. And even I know you'll never, ever change.

[crownless]

Well, you know what they say. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. There's gotta be more to it, though. I've met more girls who were just completely off than I can count.

[like_the_rifle]

Depends what you mean. The whole "What do you mean you don't know why I'm upset", or "I need emotional validation about goddamn everything" type of crazy, absolutely.

But I can't say they've got any higher of a "I'm gonna slice your eyes out and feed them to you on a platter" crazy. At least that I've noticed.

[shinra_dog]

*chews lip thoughtfully* Hn. Could be. They have a tendency t' wanna screw us up more. You'll notice that, too, for all their ACA shit or whatever, we will never be in a better place wit' them than where we were before. Oh, if they're feelin' generous we might get laid, but there's always some kinda fricken catch. Like gettin' mauled by mutant wolves or gettin' addicted t' prescription narcotics.

"Angst," bro. "Angst." Sucks ass.

*sigh* I could go for some busty Asian beauties right now... even in print would be fine. Mun's got me in some weirdo prison lockdown, an' the only lady that comes t' mind is Tifa but it wouldn't take much for her t' just wanna kick my ass.

[crownless]

I DO get those more, though.

...maybe I'm hanging around the wrong kinds of women.

[YOU THINK.]

i think i have a new broship. dammit.

[like_the_rifle]

You could try not picking up chicks at the psych ward. Yeah, yeah, daddy issues, I know it's easy but the bitches are out for blood.

[like_the_rifle]

Sounds rough. Try to get transfered to a ladies prison, maybe?

[shinra_dog]

*sad half smile* Oh, it's co-ed. Problem is, people're generally too busy tryna' live through death traps. Kinda makes it worse when a hot piece a' ass is right in front a' you but then ya find yerself surrounded by snakes. Damn tease.

I'll admit, I ain't entirely opposed t' unconscious, but necro is a no-no.