voice test. sorry she's a potty mouth.

[gazeboed]

[ someone is pacing around in a small spot, chewing her thumbnail, huffing like a five year-old. she's bored, bored, BORED. ]

Ugh, fine, yes. I would rather be trapped on some fucked up spaceship that's drifting through ass-backwards nowhere in the year who-the-fuck-knows than be stuck in this boring house with a bunch of mopey dead people. Mopey dead people making goo-goo eyes at each other all fucking day long, no less. Fine! I would prefer it, yes, okay? Are you happy now?!

[ and then all the yelling and excitement drops, just like that, because she's craaazzyyyyy.

DEAD. PAN. ]

The fact that you're thinking about it is pretty funny, but we both know it's not going to happen, so you may as well quit making me these promises.

So if you'll excuse me, I have some more rotting for the rest eternity to do.

Comments

[disharmonious]

[ if only they lived in a perfect world where murder was the solution to getting rid of your booty call. ]

Which is working out so great for you. It's outstanding, how much more patient you've become with eternity in the picture. [ Ben Harmon, you sit your ass down; someone should say but he's far beyond caring about her feelings. ]

[gazeboed]

[ oh Ben. seeing you always puts a smile on her face. the kind that somehow straddles the fine line between 'i could hit that' and 'i want to hit that in the face with a baseball bat'. you know, that smile. ]

Maybe you're not the worst therapist in the world after all, Ben. I mean, you are the reason I'm stuck here forever! [ oops, did she yell again? oops. right.]

[smolderingchild]

The only thing that gets boring in this house is having to listen to your constant whining.

[For fucks sakes father why did you have to build a gazebo over her body? Idiot. Now we're stuck with her. :|]

[gazeboed]

Says Little Miss Kurt Cobain, listening to that crappy, sad music all the damn time.

[ honestly bro get with the times. because yes, of course Hayden is a Top 40s fan. bring on the car radio! ]

Your whole existence is boring, how can you even stand it?

[hasevolved]

Wow, what are you? Five?

[ Ugh. Of all the people who had to die on the property. ]

Would being stuck on a spaceship stop you from being a little shit?

[gazeboed]

A little shit? I'M the little shit?! [ Hayden actually kind of comes at you ( bro ) before she remembers she'd rather not have her throat cut or whatever it is Tate does when he gets all creepy and protective over his stupid crush. ugh. ]

Being in space wasn't the point, bitch. Getting out of that house might help the fact that I feel like stabbing anything that comes near me that's still breathing. [ or screwing it. ah. death sucks. ]

[hasevolved]

[ Yeah, watch out for the psychopath ex-boyfriend. Violet just raises a brow, looking mildly unimpressed. ]

Yeah, except none of us are getting out of that place. Even if you're sent off to live with Marvin the Martian, you're still going to be boomeranged back eventually. Sucks.

[gazeboed]

Ugh, no, if I ended up anywhere that wasn't that house, I'd stay there. Nothing could make me go back. Now that you and your goody two-shoes ghosty friends scare away any potential new meat, there's nothing to do.

[hasevolved]

I think that's the first time I've ever been described as "goody two-shoes." [ And Tate is the farthest thing from it. ]

You could take up a hobby. Or just sit down and shut up.

[heltersskelter]

Do you do anything but bitch?

[he knows the answer is no, but, still.]

[gazeboed]

Do you do anything but mope?

[ but she doesn't want to pick a fight becaaause; ]

Seriously, ugh. You're so much more fun when you're murderous.

[heltersskelter]

[he narrows his gaze slightly.]

I'm not actually here for your entertainment.

[gazeboed]

You don't really have a choice! As long as we're stuck in that house, you're stuck with me, loverboy.

And that means I'll be watching your sad little soap opera of an afterlife unfold like it's the latest hit on cable TV.

[ AHAHahah this sucks. but never fear! raging hormones are here! ]

Unless you can think of something better for us to do.

[heltersskelter]

I'm not having sex with you.

[gazeboed]

Fine. Prude. [ the BIGGEST eyeroll ]

What else is there to do here? You're the Murder House vet.

[heltersskelter]

Why don't you learn to knit. [SASS SASS SASS]

[gazeboed]

I'll learn to knit when you stop being such a pussy, how about that? [ and now she'll push some buttons, because angry Tate is more fun than sassy Tate, ok ] We're not good people, Landon, I don't get why you're so damn determined to change for that bitch. [ yep, out of left field. but she's bored, and crazy, and she's got nothing to lose ] Pretending you'd rather sit around and play nice than find someone fun to kill. Maybe that's all we need there, a new permanent houseguest. Huh.

[ oh wow look she's already bored of her own conversation change ]

Then again, you're too busy playing Star Wars to think about how bad it sucks back home, aren't you? Ruin any lives yet, or did you leave your balls back in the basement?

[heltersskelter]

[IF LOOKS COULD KILL HAYDEN you'd be dead again probably, judging by the way he stares and his jaw grinds.]

So what if I'm not thinking about the house? [which he does but two can play at that game. there's a sneer on his mouth.] It's not like you guys are going anywhere. And the people up here are way better company than any of you. I have friends up here.

LANGDON weh i'm so annoyed with my typo ;;

[gazeboed]

Aw. Do you? That's so sweet. [ she's even pressing her hand against her chest, bless her cold, dead heart. it's just such great news. ] I guess the real heavy question to ask here would be, "do they know you're a dead, homicidal maniac, or did you lie and fuck with them all until they believed you're actually a normal little boy under those adorable blonde curls?"

But nah. Cause I'm pretty sure I already know the answer to that brain buster. CAN I GET SOCIOPATHIC MANIPULATION FOR FIVE HUNDRED, MR. TREBEK?

[heltersskelter]

[he's quiet for a moment, letting her shout settle around them like dust, his eyes dark.]

I haven't done anything.

[well he hasn't

killed anyone

yet]

[gazeboed]

I don't think I believe that at all. Nah. [ why is she looking at him like that ] Unless you've found somebody new to whip you into shape. [ wwwwwhy is she always so horny all the damn time ] How'd you learn to control it, Tate? That urge.

can we just discuss how great your hayden is okthxbye

[heltersskelter]

[something about that seems to agitate him, and he tilts his head with a little shake (like maybe he's shaking off a whisper in his ear, a static only he can hear) and he turns away from her, paces a couple of steps.]

It's different up there, okay? I'm not really dead. And people are always watching.

NOPE

[gazeboed]

[ dingdingdingdingding! there he is. she doesn't follow the way he paces, she's just got her eyes trained on him, like she's watching a caged animal from the outside. waiting waiting waiting. ]

Of course you're dead. Really dead. Multiple gunshot wounds to the chest! dead.

[ is she grinning? oops no. she's laughing. ]

Those just sound like excuses, little lies you tell yourself so you don't feel so pathetic now that you've gone… soft.

[ and she's... not looking at his face anymore nope ]

YES

[heltersskelter]

[he shoots her a poisonous look from under his lashes when she takes a shot at his dick. they both knew he hadn't (but didn't he want to?). he paces back the other direction, chewing the nail of his finger.]

I'm not like that. [yes you are] I don't want to be like that. [yes you do]

ollies

[gazeboed]

[ oh good, he's heading back this way, because she just so happens to want to get in his face. so she'll step in his path, not immediately in the way, but right there if he takes those same few steps back where he started. and she'll advance if he retreats, not in a rush but just enough to make it clear that she is oh so very curious ]

Which one is it? You're not, or you don't want to be? What do you want to be like, huh? [ and now she's about to sound like some fucked up school counselor, so sincere, giving career advice; ] 'Cause I can tell you right now that if it doesn't involve spilling blood or playing on a person's darkest fears, I just don't see that working out very well for you, sweetie.

I COULDN'T JUST NOT

[entrapments]

Wow, and I thought I had problems.

COME TO HER ROTTING BOSOM HAYLEY let her love youuuu

[gazeboed]

Don't worry, I'm sure you still do.

i've seen how that ends for people. no thanks.

[entrapments]

Yeah yeah, 99 of them.

What is it that's got you so interested in being an astronaut anyway?

:c but.

[gazeboed]

It's less about the final frontier and more get me the hell out of this house. [ if she had a chair to dramatically throw herself back onto like a woeful teen, she'd do it. instead she just rolls her eyes and lifts her arms before letting them hit her sides again ] I crave a change of scenery, that's all. Maybe it's wanderlust. [ then her focus snaps, less daydreamy, suddenly defensive ] Why do you care?

>((((( okay fine

[entrapments]

[ Hayley doesn't flinch. but maybe that says enough. her gaze watches the young woman in front of her, who looks a hair's breadth from pacing. cagey. instead, she only shrugs, lets the slope of her shoulders and the dip of her head feed the illusion of safety. innocence and naivety. ]

I'm a teenager in sci-fi paradise, it's not like I've got a whole lot else going on with my time, yanno?

:D!

[gazeboed]

[ Hayden's all squinty, nerves flaring up, lip twitching in a way that makes it obvious she'd snarl if she had any idea who this bitch was. but sci-fi paradise meant she might be one of Tate's new playmates, which could be fun. hm. ]

So you poke around at the angry people that might just join you in your little adventure, in hopes of- what, exactly? Catching a little side show? MAYBE HAVE A GOOD LAUGH?! [ sigh hayden shut up why are you so crazy ]

[entrapments]

[ she shrugs again, and it's as simple as that. Hayley knows this motion, the movement from placid to tumultuous- has seen it, hell, instigated when she needed to. but this girl is something else. the house, from Tate's world then. there's too much to look at for her to turn a blind eye. ]

I dunno.

Are you funny?

it's okay i have no idea how to html

[gazeboed]

[ huff ] I've been told my sense of humor is an acquired taste. [ she still thinks pretending to microwave the Harmon's dog was hilarious. C'MOOOON. ] But that's not really the point. Who're you?

[entrapments]

Hayley. Miscellaneous youth speaker on said spaceship apparently.

I dunno, they aren't bad digs, I don't think. Could be worse, even with the eyeless dog monsters but hey, can't win 'em all, yanno?

[gazeboed]

Every castle's got its crack in the wall. [ nope she's not gonna ask about dog monsters because seriously, nothing can be worse than living with MRS. VIVIEN HARMON. ] Like I said, I'll take any excuse to get out of my current place of residence. It's like a frat house for the chronically pathetic there. [ ha ha ha hahahahaahahashutuphayden ]