...IDEK. I resisted the urge to make a journal for, like, two months.

[princeofhopeless]

you couldvve i dont knoww ignored me or somethin
youre really fuckin good at that
you dont really like me an i cant say im thrilled to be here either
so wwhy evven make the fuckin journal at all
i dont get it
an dont say you wwant to "explore my character" or wwhatever the fuck that means
you dont havve to fuckin like me
wwho needs to be liked by an asshole like you
the last thing either a us needs is your goddamn ocd out a hand
...
just because youvve only noticed me noww doesnt mean i just got here
okay
ivve been in this stupid corner a long stupid wwhile
im fuckin dead so wwatchin is like the neww thing im so fuckin great at
its not a goddamn crime noww is it
your ridiculous naggin about my awwesome cape on the other hand...

Comments

[frustration]

OH NO NO NO.
YOU MISUNDERSTAND.
YOU CAN STILL FLAUNT YOUR GARISH PURPLE SLUDGE ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE IF YOU WANT.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU CAN EVEN PUT YOUR SYMBOL ON A CUTE LITTLE PIN.

[princeofhopeless]

wwhat about my cape
do i get to keep my cape because i aint goin anywwhere wwithout my cape an this wwoman givves me enough fuckin grief about it already

[frustration]

OH MY GOD.
*YES*, ERIDAN, YOU CAN KEEP YOUR CAPE.
BUT I RESERVE THE EXPRESS RIGHT TO TAKE IT AWAY IF I HAVE TO SEND YOU INTO THE DISCIPLINE ENFORCEMENT SQUARE.

[princeofhopeless]

okay under wwhat circumstances though
i mean if wwere gonna havve an agreement here wwe might as wwell put it all on the table you knoww
thats howw you do this things kar you need to be upfront about things

[frustration]

UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT YOU SUDDENLY DECIDE TO THROW HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF SWEEPS' WORTH OF AMASSED KNOWLEDGE OUT THE WINDOW AND SUDDENLY REVERT TO THE I.Q. OF AN OXYGEN-DEPRIVED WRIGGLER.
WHICH IS UNBELIEVABLY EASY FOR YOU TO DO.
SO YOU MAY WANNA KEEP A HIPSTER-FRAMED EYE OUT FOR STUFF LIKE THAT.

[princeofhopeless]

wwoww kar if you really wwant into my cape that badly i mean
all you need to do is ask

[frustration]

YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR GAUDY-AS-SHIT CAPE.
I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH EVERY GODDAMN CAPE IN THE BIG WIDE INCIPHISPHERE.
CAPES ARE FUCKING STUPID.
I MEAN, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WILLINGLY WEAR A FLUTTERY PIECE OF FABRIC TIED AROUND THEIR NECK LIKE AN INFERIOR HUMAN 'SUPER'HERO?
IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE!
IT'S RETARDATION MAN!!!!
...
OKAY, NO, THAT WAS BAD.
BUT YOU GET MY POINT.

[princeofhopeless]

its okay kar itll be our secret
no one needs to knoww until youre good an ready

[frustration]

ARE YOU SERIOUS?
WAS ALL OF THAT BULLSHIT UP THERE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO GET THE MEMO?
...OKAY.
OKAY, I SEE WHAT HAPPENED.
REALLY, ERIDAN. I GOT YOU, MAN.
THE FOUR-SWEEP VOCABULARY INCLUDED IN THE PREVIOUS DISCUSSION IS PUTTING SOME SERIOUS TAXATION ON YOUR NAUTICALLY NUMB THINKPAN.
LET ME PUT THIS A DIFFERENT WAY:
FUCK OFF.

[princeofhopeless]

kar
but i wwas here first

[frustration]

DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE IF YOU WERE HERE FIRST?
ALL I KNOW IS, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR MURKY BLACKISH-REDDISH SOLICITATION AND PEDDLE IT ELSEWHERE.

I can't believe he just said that. I'm so sorry.

[princeofhopeless]

wwoww look kar im okay wwith covverin up for you wwhile you get ovver your cape denial
but theres no need to get crabby about it

No worries, they're a couple of idiotic thirteen-year-olds. It's practically par for the course.

[frustration]

NO.
SORRY, FISH-FOR-BRAINS. BUT I SAID WHAT I MEANT AND I MEANT WHAT I SAID.
YOUR
CAPE
IS
SHIT.

I'm sorry, I'm typing with my elbows because my face is stuck in my palms.

[princeofhopeless]

kar wwe both knoww thats not true

It's okay, I've been there. I understand.

[frustration]

NO, ONLY ONE OF US DOES.
BECAUSE THE OTHER ONE IS TOO BUSY BEING GILL-DEEP IN SOPOR SLIME AND DENIAL.

Sob.

[princeofhopeless]

oh my god kar havve you been dippin into sopor that aint good for you

[frustration]

NO.
HELL NO.
I HAVE TO DEAL WITH GAMZEE ON A DAILY BASIS, THAT IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME SWEAR OFF SLIME FOR LIFE.
I SLEEP ON THE FLOOR SOMETIMES JUST TO MAKE SURE I DON'T INGEST THAT SHIT BY ACCIDENT.
BUT YOU?
FIVE BOONBUCKS SAYS THAT YOU DOWN THAT STUFF BY THE BUCKETFUL.
THAT IS THE *ONLY CONCEIVABLE WAY* YOU COULD TAKE OUR CONVERSATIONS UP TO THIS POINT AND TAKE ROMANTIC INTEREST OUT OF THEM.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, THIS IS GROWING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE OXYGEN-DEPRIVED WRIGGLER STATE WE DISCUSSED EARLIER.
DO YOU REMEMBER BACK THAT FAR, AMPORA?
DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU VIA INTERPRETIVE HONKS?

[princeofhopeless]

interpretative honks wwhat

[frustration]

NO?
INTERPRETIVE HONKS?
ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU DRUGGIES DO?

[princeofhopeless]

kar
youre projectin real hard an its kind a disturbin

[frustration]

OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHATEVER.
WHAT-EVER.
THIS IS STUPID.
SERIOUSLY.
I WILL OPENLY ADMIT THAT THE WHOLE SOPOR SLIME THING WAS KIND OF STUPID.
BECAUSE I AM RESPONSIBLE AND WILLING TO FESS UP FOR MY ACTIONS.
UNLIKE SOME OTHER PEOPLE I COULD MENTION.

[princeofhopeless]

you shouldnt be so hard on gam its not like he can help it really

[frustration]

BUT HE COULD HELP IT.
HE COULD HAVE DONE WHAT BASICALLY EVERY OTHER TROLL ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET DID.
BUT NOOOOO, GAMZEE MAKARA CAN'T JUST BE CONTENT WITH THAT.
HE HAS TO EAT THE RADIOACTIVE-GREEN SLUDGE THAT SEEPS OUT OF HIS RECUPERACOON AND NEEDS TO BE CHANGED ON A BIWEEKLY BASIS.
HE HAS TO USE SOPOR SLIME TO OPEN THE DOOR INTO A WHOLE NEW REALM OF BAD IDEAS.
JUMP RIGHT ON THROUGH THAT DOOR AND LEAN IN THE RETINA-KILLER RED DOORFRAME, TAKING A SWIG OF FAYGO TO QUENCH HIS GODDAMN THIRST.
AND THEN, Y'KNOW, HE THOUGHT:
SHIT MOTHERFUCKER, I MOTHERFUCKER CAN MOTHERFUCKER TOTALLY MOTHERFUCKER MAKE MOTHERFUCKER THIS MOTHERFUCKER SHIT MOTHERFUCKER INTO MOTHERFUCKER A MOTHERFUCKER DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER BAKED MOTHERFUCKER CONFECTION MOTHERFUCKER.
SO HE DID.
COME ON, ERIDAN, YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT TAKES AN UNPRECEDENTED LEVEL OF STUPIDITY TO PULL OFF THAT THOUGHT PROCESS.

Karkat, what have you done...

[princeofhopeless]

i
wwell




...oh my god a course its fuckin pants on head fuckin retarded kar its so fuckin stupid i need a neww goddamn wword to describe it
an i bet that wword wwould be makara hes a constant barrel a idiotic nonsense an high shenanigans that its a fuckin miracle he didnt get himself killed before the game started
fuck matter a fact its a goddamn motherfuckin MIRACLE that he didnt kill himself in the game
hes the most disgustin, disgraceful excuse for a highblood troll ivve evver met an the urge to just shoot his fuckin goofy grin on sight is alwways almost ovverwwhelmin
an he always
throwws
his fuckin
faygo
into
my
coddamn
OCEAN
hes a festerin pustule a idiocy alwways remindin me wwhy i fuckin hate you all landfuckers so goddamn much an i always dreamed hed be one a the first to go hopefully





oh my god that felt so good lettin it all out

Terrible/wonderful things. Also I am so sorry, Karkat + sleep deprevation= TERRIBLE THINGS.

[frustration]

[...Wow.]

[He knew that Eridan tended to do this, but... he's still taken a bit by surprise when he starts out. Fortunately, he's back to looking pissy by the end of the little tirade.]

YEAH.
RIGHT, OK, KILL ALL LANDDWELLERS.
I HAVE TO WONDER, IS THIS DEEP-SEATED BURNING VEHEMENCE FOR ALL OF US STAMMERING DIRT-FLAPPERS JUST COMING OUT OF GAMZEE?
OR SOME OF IT, ANYWAY?
THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.