dear_mun | YOUCAN'TMAKEMENOPENOPENOPE

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YOUCAN'TMAKEMENOPENOPENOPE

[Iggy barks and growls at his mun, lately she's been wanting to shove him somewhere and actually make him do something. Cut the crap, mun! He ain't doing shit except shitting and farting--and fucking the occasional hot bitch in heat on the side. ~~Eating coffee gum is a given, hey they got a whole lot of that up in doggy heaven.~~

Plopping on his belly with his legs all sprawled out, Iggy looks like a starfish and lazily blinks. This is another manner of protest. How come he can't be the one in control? Some no-name, no important human gets to tell him what his life is gonna be like? NO WAY!]

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[He'd considered just not getting involved. Whatever Iggy's having a whine about is his own problem, and Jotaro's just gonna continue having a smoke off to the side, yare yare daze. But the more he watches Iggy out the corner of his eye, the more he's bothered by it. What does a dog even have to complain about in life anyway?

Finally, and with a mildly aggravated sigh, he makes his way over.]

What? Run out of gum?

[His large ears perk up at the sound of footsteps coming closer to him. The smell of smoke he got a good whiff of first before he turned and looked up at Jotaro.

Gum?

Yawning with a bit of a whine that was about as much as he would do to go uh-huh to this human. He could probably talk if he wanted to in this place but that required effort and it wasn't something he wanted to give his all to. It might be funny to make Jotaro shit his pants by showing that he could even mouth-off in human language. He clearly understood the words a human said at the very least. He was a smart dog. Siiiiigh, these people were too good for his brilliance.]

[There's a very prolonged moment of staring before Jotaro finally moves, reaching into his pocket to withdraw a stick of gum. He could do the kind thing and kneel down and offer it. You know, like normal people would do. But this Jotaro. Iggy thinks he's top doge, Jotaro thinks he's top dolphin. So what he does instead is just... unceremoniously dropping the stick onto the ground in front of Iggy. Can't have people thinking he's affectionate. Dolphins are crazy motherfuckers.]

That's all I have. Happy now?

Edited 2015-06-01 03:21 (UTC)

[He didn't mind eating food off the ground--hell, he didn't mind eating food with the wrappers still covering the damn thing. Giving a bit of a bounce in the steps with his paws, it was easy to see how excited he got as he rushed to the coffee gum and snatched it up.

Chewchewchewchew. This kindness out of nowhere was a bit confusing, did the guy want something with him? Whatever. Probably not. Just humoring a mutt... he was thinking something like that, huh?]

[A quiet snort as he adjusts his cap.]

Must be nice being this easy to please. [He's being brusque and dismissive as always, but he won't lie, there's a little nostalgia to be found here. Egypt did quite a number on all of them.] I thought you'd be with Avdol. Or did you run away?

[FEELS Jotaro, Iggy has them too but doesn't like to admit to it. When he brings up Advol, he's reminded of his passing and how it all came in an instant. His thoughts further progress to a certain Frenchmen he ended up sacrificing himself to in order for him to keep on living.

Dammit, maybe he did like humans a little bit. Even THAT guy with the ridiculous hair and dumb earrings. Why else would he have done what he had?]

"..."

[There's a another sigh through his nose, this one is deeper and sounds like what a dog would do when they were depressed or bored. Iggy's emotions lay with the first option.

His mouth opens up and he begins to speak in a manner of voice no dog should be capable of.]

"Damn. Had alotta years left and what did I do?"

[There are lots of things he's seen on his adventure. A really ugly orangutan, really ugly people, a really ugly dog.........

But he's visibly taken back when Iggy actually speaks, and given Jotaro's usual calm demeanour, that's something.]

Y-you can speak?

[You even made him stutter, congratulations, Iggy.]

[Seeing Jotaro's reaction makes him snicker and raise up a paw to point at him. This had always been the man whose stand he didn't want to admit could beat his.]

"Now look at that, Mister Pokerface has got some emotions in him after all."

[He walked closer to him and glanced upwards. This was amusing, keep making those faces and it'll give him something to look forward to in his effort to continue.]

"If ya can hear me, I gotta."

[There's an attempt at collecting himself; a quiet cough, another tweak of his hat, and a (forced) calm puff on his cigarette. God he'll need another one after this.]

Why did you bother hiding it from us? I wouldn't have expected a decent conversation from you, but it would have made things remarkably easier.

[Ya damn mutt!!!]

Or is it revenge for dragging you away from your simple life?

"I just didn't feel like it. Humans should be able to figure out these things if I grasp their language enough to understand what they are saying."

[Iggy is true to his lazy personality. He didn't quite understand how not talking would of made this harder. Do dogs talk? Well a few can mimic words by howling but nothing special, but then again--he has a damn stand, Iggy is not at all an ordinary dog.]

"Heheheheh. Mind doing this shitty little dog a favor? Well 'cept it ain't really a favor, more like I need your body to say my words because I can't go to see them anymore."

[That doesn't sound weird at all, nope.]

[He wants to argue that former point, that no, beyond a general idea of an animal's mood, there's no way to know for sure just what they're feeling or thinking, or why they're behaving the way they are.

But that's too much of a hassle.]

Don't be ridiculous, I'm not lending my body to anyone. [He's quick to mention this, gotta lay down some ground rules!!] But if you wanted me to pass on a message, I'm listening.

"Psssh, fine."

[Kind of difficult to threaten Jotaro when he's dead unless he says his doggy soul will haunt him for the rest of his life. That wasn't going to get him anywhere, so for now...]

"..."

[Scraping a paw on the ground, Iggy lowers his eyes to the ground and then closes them. He's not good at putting things delicately but there's something he's felt needed proper closure.]

"Tell that idiot Polnareff to stop dwelling on me! I did what I want because I felt like it! He should go back to spending his life embarrassing himself around pretty girls! Jeez! What a dumbass!"

Edited 2015-06-03 13:17 (UTC)

[Iggy's request is met with nothing but silence at first as Jotaro shifts his weight to stare off into the distance, taking one final puff on his cigarette before he drops the butt on the floor and squashes it underfoot.

And then there's a vague smile on his face, though it's gone in the next second.]

Having lived life the way you do, this is what you choose to skirt around.

[Though it isn't as if he doesn't understand; Jotaro is also largely useless at expressing himself in any conventional manner.]

But I'll tell him. [A beat.] Though I don't believe he needs anybody's permission to cause a scene.

Edited 2015-06-03 14:22 (UTC)

[Seeing that rare smile is surprising, he must of said something funny or pretty special to get Jotaro to make such a human like expression.

He bares his fangs a bit but not to be threatening, he's curious and his body shows it in more ways then one as his tiny tail wags back and forth.]

"I do what I want and this is how I feel like doing it. You don't need to be jealous that you aren't as awesome as me, y'know."

[ The Fool > Star Platinum]

"I bet he's never even done it with a bitch. Not even in heat when they are desperate."

[He means human females but he's used to his doggy terms.]

[Though Jotaro had always known Iggy had this sort of personality, there's a different feel to it when such hostility is verbalised. A very different feel.]

You were cuter when you weren't talking. [And the icing on this ULTRA DREADNAUGHT OF A SICK BURN:] But I'm likely being too generous.

[But even more likely is that this is simply how the both of them do things. Never really up front when it comes to affection, never really saying what they mean when it matters. Useless, the both of them....]

I won't pretend I know anything about Polnareff's preferences. Tell you the truth, I'd rather not, but he's not the kind of man to engage in such a thing.

[So he has that going for him at least. Which is nice.]

"So you think I'm cute? Sorry, but I'm not into human men..."

He can rap with you Jotaro, let's have a battle! A verbal battle. When he's done with his own sick burn he raises one paw up off the ground and up turns his nose. Haters gonna hate pose is go.

"Are you trying to compliment Polnareff in your own special little way? Seeing and hearing you be nice is a rarity indeed."

Same with him, he's the shitty little dog who pretended to be adorable and give Jotaro's hat back with gum all underneath it. He knows his cuteness power can trick humans.

Edited 2015-06-07 22:00 (UTC)

What I mean is that you, like any child, is better off simply being seen and not heard.

[Yeahyeahyeahyeah, that was a good one!!!!!! Awwww shit, you want some Preparation H for your chafed butt? Dayum.]

Though I wouldn't call that being nice. I'm simply stating facts after having observed him for nearly forty days. Had you also been paying any attention at all, maybe you would have noticed too.

[Boy he's on a roll today.

~~I'm so sorry, please pee on his shoes~~]

"..."

[Iggy gives him a stone cold hard look and squints his eyes into tiny little slits.]

"You do realize I'm older then you."

[In dog years. IGGY IS VERY MATURE, OKAY. Farting on your face is just how he shows his love. He totally isn't a child, hell! If he were a human he was sure he'd be better looking then Jotaro! Not that he was into humans, grooooooooooooooss.]

[Is Jotaro intimidated? Is Jotaro ever intimidated? Sadly, no. He didn't even blink when Joseph got stabbed...]

Is that so? Hmm. Strange. You could have fooled me.

[Who's ZA FUUURU now? EH? EH? I'm sorry.]

[Does Jotaro even have feelings? ZA WARUDO may never know, p.s. kill me now.]

"Somehow I feel you are mocking me, human."

[Iggy isn't going to call you by name, you don't get that much respect! ~~Jotaro, your puns are going to make me die again, he's thinking that--really he is.~~]

IGGY! Are you causing trouble again?

[ He has no more gum... and he doesn't want his hands minced again. Damn. ]

[If it isn't the boss of the group. Iggy didn't mind Joseph TOO MUCH. He was just an old human--that had the aging abilities of god knows what.

Breathing out his nose deeply, he makes sure to let his sigh of annoyance be heard with exaggeration. He isn't always a shitty little dog! He's done good. Why can't this mans words be something better and more thoughtful? He was basically a ghost coming out to see everybody for one last time. THEY SHOULD FEEL HONORED.]

"Grrrr...."

Edited 2015-06-03 17:53 (UTC)

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YOUCAN'TMAKEMENOPENOPENOPE

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best sn also keywords

alas a helpful anon help me come up with it, bless them

bless them indeed

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I think Iggy might be a bit of a tsundere.

It's okay Iggy, we all know the truth.

DON'T TELL ANYONE JOTARO, M-MY EGO....

HIS SILENCE COMES AT A PRICE

fdsjhsdf ALL THEM SICK BURNS. apply ice to dat burn. Iggy is SALTY

What chu got Iggy, let's fight

Barky barky daze. Speaking of human Iggy: http://tinypic.com/r/2elgqx4/8

Why is Iggy so handsome...............................

I don't know, but I know I like it. LOL. I think that's the only fanart I've seen of him humanized.

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