MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE

[achtungbaby]

[ Regarding this release of trivia information and it's two entire sentences about Klavier Gavin. ]

Ach, I don't know why you're so upset, Fräulein Mundane. You knew it was a possibility, ja?

[ Get out of my face, you canonly German weaboo. You've ruined everything. ]

Comments

[thuglifechoseme]

[must...not...laugh...derisively...]

Yeah, Klavier, how could you lie to us like that?

[achtungbaby]

[ Laugh it up, Herr Wright. Klavier will only grin that million-watt rock star grin of his because, ]

I never claimed to be from Germany, Herr Wright.

[thuglifechoseme]

But you never denied it either.

Either way, who cares? The whole German gig suits you anyway, so if that's your cup of java, you keep with it.

[achtungbaby]

I don't recall you ever asking.

I have no intention of changing, Herr Wright. I have an image to maintain, ja?

[thuglifechoseme]

Eh. 'f you ask me, the whole image thing backfires eventually.

[Shhh Phoenix, not now.]

But, uh, yeah. Make sure to tell your mundane what you just said.

[achtungbaby]

I've yet to have issues.

[ Klavier has crafted an image and upheld it for the past seven years. He's been in the public eye for about as long. He knows how this game is played. ]

But now that my bad has broken up, should my image backfire, it would not be as devastating as it would have been.

[ So there's that, at least. ]

[thedevilwearsprada]

So your secret's finally out.

SCREAMS LOUDLY

[achtungbaby]

Ach, I suppose it couldn't last forever.

[thedevilwearsprada]

I'm surprised you managed to fool so many for so long, to be honest. Although I suppose the average American isn't well-versed in German grammar.

[achtungbaby]

[ He tilts his head slightly, considering the point. ]

That, or it was chalked up to me being an eccentric rock star, ja?

[thedevilwearsprada]

If it pleases you to think so.

[achtungbaby]

I am not the only American who speaks German.

[magicality]

I can't believe it! I would've never guessed, Mr. Gavin!

[SHOCK AND AWE!! say hi to one of the few genuinely surprised people, Klavier]

[achtungbaby]

That was the whole point, ja?

[ He winks. ]

[magicality]

How have you been able to keep it up? Did it make things easier for you in Germany...?

[achtungbaby]

I studied for two years in Germany before I got famous, Fräulein. It's not as hard as you think, to keep the accent from fading.

[magicality]

That's true. You're really good at it, too! Like, I don't think Apollo could pull something like that off at all. Not even Daddy!

[achtungbaby]

[ He can't help the snicker that escapes him at the mental image. ]

I do not think Herr Forehead could pull off a German accent, ja?

[andimfine]

[ He doesn't even know who you are anymore, Klavier. ]

Wow.

[achtungbaby]

[ Apollo, no -- ]

Ach, come to laugh at me, too, Herr Forehead?

[andimfine]

Finding out that you aren't German after knowing you for more than year isn't exactly funny. I'm more concerned with why you did this, and why I'm not at all surprised.

[achtungbaby]

[ He blinks. ]

You're not surprised?

[ But he did such a good job of pretending to be German. ]

[andimfine]

I've seen weirder things since becoming a lawyer. [ Every single witnesses he's ever crossed examined, for instance. Nothing surprises him anymore. ]

And I guess it makes sense since you have that whole rockstar persona.

[achtungbaby]

[ He gives a wry smile. ]

It seemed like a good idea when I was 17, ja? [ He was young and stupid and had just arrived back home from studying abroad in Germany for two years. He gives a shrug. ] And then our single went platinum and I was stuck with it.

Wow I just saw this...

[cykedfists]

To be honest, it's not really surprising...

[Sorry, Klavier...]