malignantrage: (bitching)
Karkat Vantas ([personal profile] malignantrage) wrote in [community profile] dear_mun2013-12-26 11:10 pm

Surrounded by Striders

WHAT IN FUCK'S NAME POSSESSED YOU TO DO THAT?!
AS IF THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH STRIDERS IN THIS HEADSPACE ALREADY.
YOU JUST HAD TO ADD ANOTHER ONE, EVEN AFTER THE RANT I WROTE LAST TIME.
AND WHY *HIM*?
NO ONE NEEDS MORE THAN ONE DAVE.
MORE THAN ONE IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FUCKING UNNECESSARY.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A BIGGER, SMUGGER VERSION OF MY BEST FRIEND?
HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PUT UP WITH THIS OVERSIZED DOUCHEBAG?!
I SWEAR TO GOD HE'S THE MOST OBNOXIOUS STRIDER BY FAR.
INSUFFERABLE PRICK DOESN'T EVEN COVER IT.
HE'S MORE OF AN ARROGANT ASSHOLE
FUCKING COOLDOUCHE SUPREME
THE SMUGGEST TAINT CHAFFING MORON TO EVER WEAR AN OBSCENELY LARGE PAIR OF SHADES.
IF I EVER SEE ANOTHER STRIDER IN HERE I AM GOING TO FLIP MY SHIT SO HARD THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE UPSIDE DOWN FOR A WEEK.
WE'LL ALL HAVE TO WALK AROUND ON OUR HANDS AND SIT ON OUR HEADS.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, ASSHOLE?!
mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2013-12-27 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[Kanaya looks up from her embroidery]
Karkat, I Recommend A Deep Intake Of Oxygen.
You Know Your Mun Does This To See How Loudly You Will Shout.
mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2013-12-28 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
Mm Hmm. And This Has Nothing To Do With The Fact He Keeps Giving Away Headspace Without Consulting You First.

[She examines her work, then hands it to Karkat.]

Try This On, Will You? [She's happy to let him rant, but not about to waste a good model!]
mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2013-12-29 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[Smiling, Kanaya stands and begins arranging the fabric herself.]

When A Mun Adds Characters, It Can Have A Fascinating Impact On Their Insight And World-Crafting Abilities.

You May Find Your Experiences Richer, Despite Your Lack Of Enthusiasm Over Particular Companions.


[While speaking, she drapes the dark grey cloth in several configurations around Karkat's neck and shoulders.]

Want To Trade? I Can Offer You An Obnoxious Super-Powered Wrecking Ball For One Of Your Striders. Heaven Knows Why My Mun Thought HE Was A Good Idea!

[Very funny, Kanaya.]
mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2013-12-30 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[Kanaya snorts. Pirates. That is a particular game she's had her fill of, frankly.]

You Have My Utmost Sympathies. Pirates Are Terrible.
Once A Person Starts Down That Dark Trail There Simply Is No Remedy.
Has He Started Singing Terrible Songs And Insisting They Are "Lusty Ballads?"
Or Acquired A Colorful Squawkbeast To Perch On His Shoulder And Demand Crackers?
Or Worse, An Eyepatch?


[She likes Dave, but honestly She's on Karkat's side for this one.]

Hold Your Arms Out Please.
mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

Happy New Year!

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2014-01-01 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[Kanaya checks Karkat's armspan, then nods and removes the cloth.]

Red And White Trim?! Even Worse Then I Thought.
Couldn't He At Least Add Some Tertiary Colors?
I Will Wager The Coat Doesn't Even Fit Him Properly.


[Pulling out silver thread, she stabs a few stitches into her project rather more violently then necessary. This insult to fashion may be more upsetting then the pirate game!]

The Matter Has Transgressed From "Irony" Into "Bad Taste."
Clearly Captain Strider Needs To Be Dealt With.
mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2014-01-04 02:41 pm (UTC)(link)
He Does Not Need To Listen.
He Merely Needs To Hold Still.
And Should He Attempt A Daring Escape?
Well, He May Try To Flash-Step, But He Needs Space To Do That.


[Kanaya smirks at Karkat. It's hard to tell if she's serious or not, but the image of Dave fleeing the determined fashionista is a pretty great one!]

mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2014-01-05 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[That was definitely almost a smile from Karkat! At least, the lessening of a scowl. Kanaya continues outlining her fiendish plot as she hems.]

Sounds Serious! We Had Best Enlist A Distraction.
I Know He Cannot Resist The Dulcet Screeching Of His Fellow Knight.
You Flail At His Abominable Life Choices.
And I Will Abscond With The Coat.
Edited 2014-01-05 17:55 (UTC)
mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2014-01-06 01:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[Naturally it will work. No one can best Kanaya when it comes to Fashion Intervention - she's memorized every tip from "Wear This, Cull That."]

Difficult To Say Without Seeing It Firsthand.
From Your Description, It Requires Tailoring At Least.
Though If The Colors Are Atrocious As Reported, More Drastic Steps May Be Necessary.
Perhaps Incineration.

mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2014-01-08 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[Kanaya completes the final stitch, cutting the thread with a neat snap of her fangs.]

At Least One Of The Striders Retained Knowledge Of Cut.
I Was Beginning To Worry.

Of Course, There Is Another Option -
Shaming Him With Superior Accessories.


[With that, she sweeps out both arms to reveal her work. The long bolt unfurls into a dark grey scarf. Embroidery glitters at both ends, Karkat's Cancer symbol picked out in silver and black.

Kanaya's smile is a bit nervous now.]


What Do You Think?
mapsincolor: Kanaya (Kanaya default)

[personal profile] mapsincolor 2014-01-12 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[Kanaya’s nervous smile breaks into a full grin. She hops up to loop the scarf around Karkat’s neck.]

It Was Meant To Be A 12th Perigee’s Eve Present. I Apologize For the Tardiness, But I Rather Lost Track Of Days. They All Seem To Run Together Now...

[Fussing, Kanaya tries out a few different knots. Half-Bow, Square Knot, it’s even long enough for a Windsor... Then she freezes, realizing what lies a few inches beneath her hands - the line of bright, perfect circles that haunts so many of her Daymares.

Unless this is a different Karkat, one who doesn’t have those scars.

It’s so hard to keep everything straight in the Bubbles.]


Just... Don’t... Don’t Get It Messy!